My name is NICK and I’m a retardo bitch!

I’ve got a back scratcher to fix CRUSTY’s itch.

They caught me stealing and I cried like a little girl.

I prefer KIKI the Hamster over Marky the Squirl.

They now know about my crimal past.

Into a jail cell I go at the end of the month for blowing off the judge, no clue how long that will last.