Archive for November, 2009

Mark the Cruster was Trussed up like a Turkey and Fisted by Ghey Nick

Friday, November 27th, 2009

I did not have to receive the phone call this evening telling me that Ghey boy nickie Trussed up Mark the Cruster like a Turkey before fisting him.

That is a FREAKISH way for those two homo’s to celebrate Thanksgiving.

The picture of this travesty and obination might be posted shortly.

Happy Thanksgiving! The Cruster Celebrates by having Nick Fist HIM!

Thursday, November 26th, 2009

Why the Cruster would celebrate Thanksgiving by having Nick shove his fist up Mark like a Turkey is beyond me. Mark is a very strange bald man.

On the JW front, he is now calling everybody screaming that Mark has Nick the Thief working at his Church, even though Nick stole $29K of Jewelry from JW.

Mark’s nightmare is rising to the North. Maybe when 3 people show up at his Church on Black Friday, he will finally figure out that he is out of business and has just not recognized it yet. Nah. Mark the Cruster is too much of a retard.

The Cruster’s truth is stranger then fiction

Friday, November 20th, 2009

The Truth in Mark the Cruster’s world is always stranger then fiction. I can hardly believe what I saw today.

As we told you a few weeks back, Ghey boy Nick stole $29 thousand dollars of jewelry from JW, The Holy Goat. This story was confirmed by multiple sources. But, JW, having 1) no balls and 2) no proof that the jewelry was his did not call the police.

Today, Ghey Boy Nick was back in the window at the Crusters church. Thats right. After ripping off JW for $29K, Mark the Cruster hired him back to work at his Church.

Any normal rational person would not hire a thief. And we have LOTS of proof that Ghey Boy nick is a thief, let here is he back at Mark the Crusters Church.

That is pretty much PROOF that Mark the Cruster was in on the theft from JW. JW must be going absolutely mental thinking of Nickie and Markie dancing nekked at Mark’s chuch funded by the $29K of stuff stolen from JW.

The end of days for the Cruster is coming. The Tribute to the Risen Timmy is about to Rise in Glory.

Poor Ol Cruster, Jewelry or BUST!

Wednesday, November 18th, 2009

After getting in to a BIG fight with the Holy Goat over Mark fencing JW’s Jewelry that Nick stole, Mark the Cruster no longer has any jewelry for sale and has no Jewelry to list on eBay.

Not selling Jewelry is going to hurt the Cruster because he won’t be able to pay his $1800 a monh rent for his church, and he will NEVER be able to pay back the village the $30K they loaned him for sprinkers in his church since the building was so old and run down that it did not have a sprinker system and was a danger to his parishioners.

So what does the Cruster do? He is now selling an overpriced scratched up laptop.

And get this…

He is selling something on eBay that he is calling a “Hole Hawk”

WAIT a second…

I thought the Ghey Boy Nickie was Mark’s “Hole Hawk.”

That is just plan sick sick sick. and 1) evil and 2) ghey.

I told you that mark’s truth was stranger then fiction.

Save me KIKI!

Mark the Crutster’s NIGHTMARE!

Friday, November 13th, 2009

Mark called his sister last night SCREAMING, “how do they know EVERYTHING about my church and my life!!!!”

Simple.

When the cruster worked for us, we embedded a sonic transducer with a wireless card in his greasy Chicago Police baseball cap. The sonic transducer decodes his brain wave matrix and transmits exactly what is happening in Mark’s Brain, His Life, His Church, and his deepest darkest thoughts directly to us and TIMMY!

We know everything happening in the Cruster’s depraved little world.

The transducer also has a setting where we can send a shock to his bald head. We haven’t felt the need to shock him, but, we certainly are enjoying the first hand account of the nightmare that is Mark’s life.

We have no such device for JW. JW is very Yappy and can’t keep his mouth shut. So every time JW calls anybody we know with another story about how screwed up his life is, the person JW called immediately calls us, and shares JW’s problems while laughing at him. Its really funny that JW believes these people to be his friends, when in fact, all they do is laugh at him behind his back.

The kingdom, the power, and the glory of TIMMY will be yours now and FOREVER!

The unraveling of the Cruster’s Tapestry

Thursday, November 12th, 2009

Tapestry: A hevey cloth with rich, colored, designs and scenes.

The Tapestry that is Mark the Cruster’s life is unraveling. Lets review the developments in the last week.

JW is pissed that Mark Fenced the Jewelry stolen by Ghey boy Nick. JW rushed into the Cruster’s church and screamed at him that he will pay for this trechery.

JW drove all the way down to Schvarchies and demanded that he get back his JEWelry. Schvarchie told him to GTFO or he would call the police on JW.

Nickie’s daddy drove all the way down to Slimewood to meet with JW. They got in to a fist fight at JW’s store over the argument on is Nickie a Ghey Whore or a Thief. Nickie’s daddy punched JW in the nose, which is now broken and twice its normal size, which is very large, because JW is a JEW and all JEW’s have big noses.

Mark the Cruster has no more jewelry listed on eBay. He can’t get the stuff from JW any more since JW is PISSED that Mark fenced the $28K of stolen jewelry from Ghey Boy Nick.

JW will no longer buy the Crusters melt so the cruster doesn’t know what to do since he has nobody to help him at his church, so he can’t close the store and drive down to Schvarchies to sell the melt. What’s a cruster to do?

The scafolding is up about 1/2 block to the north of the Crusters chuch, so now every time Mark steps out his front door to mop his crusty brow, adjust his winky and smoke, he will see our tribute to TIMMY and his GLORY.

DCFS is on the verge of filing felony child endangerment charges against Mark. I would love to be a fly on the wall in the nail place next door to Crusters church when they stop by to present him with the charges.

Quite frankly, the cruster should just pack it in and close his church. He has to be losing money. The odds are now 75/25 that Mark will hang himself in the back of his church in that little booth he sits in every day.

And thats the way it is. More updates as they become available.

GHEY little Nick and Mark the Cruster

Tuesday, November 10th, 2009

For the record, just typing about Nick fisting the Cruster makes me want to vomit.

A New Dawn for the Cruster

Tuesday, November 10th, 2009

We are just about there…

Mark the Cruster… stepping out the front door of his church and looking NORTH…

And seeing the scaffording going up…

As a 40 foot tall Statue of Timmy, or Savior is enveiled…

Next week, the Cruster will see TIMMY starring down on him EVERY DAY!

The Grace and Peace of TIMMY be with us ALL! Now and Forever! AMEN!

Mark the CRUSTER now has an official definition!

Saturday, November 7th, 2009

For the regular readers of this blog, we know that Mark is a Cruster. The Urban Dictionary has now published a defintion about MARK! GLORIOUS!

Cruster
A person who’s skin crusts and flakes when they get nervous.
That guy was such a cruster that he walked around in a white flakey cloud.
cruster; flaking; nervous; white-cloud; itchey;

The Dawn of a Crusters nightmare!

Thursday, November 5th, 2009

Mark the Cruster has a regular ritual at his church. He walks out the front door, makes a left turn, walks about 10 feet north and then turns left and stand outside his Church. He then takes off his greasy Chicago Police hat, rubs his greasy bald scalpe, puts the baseball cap back on his greasy head, reaches his hand down the front of his pants, adjusts his little Mr. Markie Winky, takes his hand out of his pants, grabs a smoke and lights it up.

Its completely sick seeing him reach his hand down his pants, touch his winky, then grab a smoke and put it in his month. Since Mark is a homo, i’m sure he doesn’t mind smoking a cigarette that smells like a dick, but, just typing it makes me want to vomit.

But thats not the purpose of this post.

We are in the process of doing something that will cause the Cruster to shit in his pants and fill his diaper when he looks to the North out of his Church at our Monestary.

Thats right boys and girls. I am absolutely positive that when the Cruster sees what we are going to do in the next few weeks, and sees it for the first time, he will shit himself. GUARANTEED. And he will absolutely be able to see it EVERY TIME he steps out of his church.

Only then, yes, only then, will the Cruster understand the TRUE Glory of Timmy and his Church.

The Kingdom, The Power and the GLORY of TiMMY will be ours now and Forever!