Archive for June, 2009

OMG this is GLORIOUS. JW is the Holy Man Goat!

Saturday, June 27th, 2009

We were visiting with That Witchey Bitch HAWT Whore wife of JW’s earlier today and learned that JW, the drunken little man who lost his Bucktown Jewelry Monestary, has a wife with witchy hair and a hugh rack that he paid for, and a retarded son named Smiley has NOT been aware of this web site developed Glorify you as the Holy Man Goat.

Thats GLORIOUS! We expect him to be reading these missives any day now. JW’s CUNT wife told me she would tell him about it was I was F’ing her in the arse.

JW you P.O.S. You know you are a drunken little man.

WELCOME TO BUCKTOWN JEWELERS!

It warmed the cockles of our hearts to learn that you drove your latest business, Bucktown Jewelers into the ground. It was GLORIOUS to grab the domain, and form a 501-3C charitable organization, with TAX EXEMPT status, developed in honor of Bennedict our Father, the Baby in the Son, and YOU, the Holy Goat.

IT is inevitable, that you will get in your car drunk, slide under a gas truck and die tasting your own blood. We only hope this happens close to our monestary, so we can video tape your demise and put it up on youtube.

We hope that you eat a goat.

Mark, smoking, greasy hair and adjusting himself

Saturday, June 27th, 2009

I had the opportunity to drive by Mark Mook the Crusters church a day ago, and he was standing in front of his church smoking. It was 105 degrees in Chicago, and there he was standing in the front of the store, smoking a cigarette, inhaling cancer into his lungs. I’m sure he smokes as a death wish to end his suffering.

Anyways….

As I was driving by, he whips off his Chicago Police Baseball cap, showing the bald spot on the top of his head. After taking his hand and rubbing the sweat off his gleaming forehead, he put the cap back on, and reached his hand right down the front of his pants to adjust himself.

Thats right. In public. In the front of his church. With a nasty cigarette in his mouth, he reaches into his pants to adjust Mr. Winky.

I only wish the cops were there to see it, and arrest him for making an obsense jesture in public.

One has to wonder if the crusting illiness that affects his hands is contagious and has affected Mr. Winky? Maybe it has fallen off.

EVIL

Mark is a neurotic cruster and this is proof

Friday, June 26th, 2009

As readers of this blog know, Mark is a neurotic ghey homo who has a lover named nick. But, that is not the point of this post.

Mark is psychotic and neurotic. For many years this neurosis has manifested itself in his disgusting crusting illness that causes his skin to flake and crust.

Many people who are neurotic have obsessive compulsive disorder. Mark has this manifestation of his illness.

Mark wears a disgusting greasy Chicago Police baseball cap.

Mark believes that wearing the that greasy cap will protect him from the people who would enter his church and try to kill him.

He tells people who enter the church that he is an ex Chicago cop.

How being an ex-Chicago cop will protect him is completely goofy.

But, he wears the greasy Chicago police cap every day, and will not take it off to expose his balding head.

We have also learned from a reliable source that Mark even wears the Chicago Police baseball cap while Nick performs sodomy on Mark.

Mark is a sick man. Stay away or you may catch his crusting sickness.

Mark the Crusting Mook in a Yarf! Session!

Sunday, June 7th, 2009
Mark the Crusting Mook as a Yark!

Mark the Crusting Mook as a Yark!

THE CRUSTERS DISEASE & FELTCHING SESSION! (This is your only Crustaceous Leprosy Warning!)

Sunday, June 7th, 2009

The word on the street is that Mark the Cruster (AKA: Cromper Foot*) may have Crustaceous Leprosy! If you know the Cruster, then you know that the following descriptions are true to form. This explains a world of questions that we had whilst he was practicing at our Monastery. His New Orleans vacation 2 years ago seemed to turn him into half the man he used to be! Some people have Dandruff on their shirts but not the Mighty Cruster! Nope, he has 1

Mark the Mook, Crusting, and an old Cleaners with Tinted Windows

Friday, June 5th, 2009

In January, Mark the Cruster decided to open up his church. Instead of finding area without a Monastary, the Cruster decided to open 1 block away, but thats old hat.

He moved into a storefront that was previously used by a dry cleaner. We know about the toxic affects of working in a place where dry cleaning chemicals were stored, but the Cruster is an idiot for opening one block away anyways, so whats cancer to him?

Now boys and girls. How many dry cleaners have you seen go out of business? Not many. But this particular cleaners had a couple of bad things do deal with. The first being no way for anybody driving on the east side of the street to get into the strip mall where he has his church. There is a traffic light about a 1/4 mile south of his church, and traffic backs up all the time making it virtually impossible for anybody to get into the parking lot. NOBODY can get it, so nobody will stop by to #pray.

The second really bizarre thing about the Church is the tinted windows that they have at the Church. Nobody can see into the chuch. The windows are too dark. He has a double necked guitar in the front window but you can barely see it. All you see when you look through the windows are dark shadows. It makes the place look creepy.

The cruster also can not aford a lite up sign. His cash flow must be really bad.

Nobody will go into his church because it looks scarey. I be they close in 6 months.