Archive for September, 2008

Happy Rosh Hashana to all the Jews from your Progenator Wayne!

Monday, September 29th, 2008
I am the Holy Father for you!  Be afraid of me because I am a JEW!

I am the Holy Father for you! Be afraid of me because I am a JEW!

I am a FINE looking JEW! And you can be TOO!

Would you like to buy some Jewelry from me?

Armageddon Kiki Save me!

Wednesday, September 24th, 2008

When we last left Sir Mark who crusts like a Potato Chip, and Nickie the GHEY thief, The Holy Father arranged for them to obtain employment at another store.

Both Mark and Nickie showed up on Tuesday to fill out applications and other paperwork to start at their new retail job, arranged by The Holy Father.

Well, they filled out the paperwork, and then asked, “when are we going to start.”

The onwer said, “you need to report for a DRUG TEST and POLYGRAPH” on Friday. After you pass, we will pick the start date.

Well, here is the problem.

Markie is a drug adict with so many illegal drugs in his system that its suprising he hasn’t done an Elvis Presley and left the building. He already waved around a piece of paper from his doc dropping him for being a cronic drug chaser. His new boss will have no part of it.

And GHEY nickie is going to be up a creek since he wont be able to pass the polygraph because he’s a theif. He stole from ever job he ever had.

So Nickie will go back to GHEY whoring.

And Markie, with no job, no money, and no cash to buy drugs or pay for his condo, will finally commit suicide with the Holy Goat!

AMEN

You can call me wayne or you can call me john, but DONT tell Fred Hakimian!

Wednesday, September 24th, 2008

You can call me Wayne.

Or you can call me John

or you can call me John Wayne

or you can call me JW

Just dont TELL Fred Hakamian becausee I stole alot of money from him, and he got a court judgement against me, but, he hasn’t been able to find me.

Now that I’m open Friday Saturday and Sunday and actually sit at the store, I think he is going to catch up with me.

Kiki save me! Armageddon!

We received a confirmation on the GHEYNESS of Mark and Nick

Monday, September 22nd, 2008

Thats right. We had it confirmed this weekend.

Mark is GHEY.

16 years without having a girlfriend.

Having a 19 year old kid sleep over at his house when he’s a 41 year old man.

The kid walking around with his ass hanging out and the cruster constantly checking out his ass.

And finally, Bennedict confirming for us that they are both GHEY.

Wayno, being a 52 year old little man with a hair lip now has 2 more screaming Mo’s to play with.

Armagedon Kiki Save US1

I am a fake JEW, you can be too, and late life circumcision OMG

Thursday, September 18th, 2008

When I started working in the pawn business for Cluck, I wished to adopt a pseudo Jewish persona to convience the poor SOB’s that walked into the store that I was a JEW and could be trusted. The first thing I needed to do was adopt a hymie accent. I took some money from my wife, the witchey looking whore, who now VP’s for a medical association, and went to new york to live with the Hymies for a few months.

The Hassidum who took me in convinced me that before I could become a pretend JEW, I needed to have a briss. Being a 52 year old man, I objected to a Rebbi with an exacto knife coming at me down there if you know what I mean, but, my desire to become closer to the jews got the best of me, and the procedure was scheduled.

The briss was scheduled for a Sunday afternoon. A minion of the Hassidum showed up at the house of the rebbi where I was staying, the men said a bruchaa, and the Moel Rebbi came at me with an exacto knife. Before he began, he sprayed me down there with a can of instant freeze, but, as soon as he started cutting, I was in excruiciating pain, lying in a pool of my own blood on the Mikva table. At that point, the 13 hassidum of the minion appeared out of nowhere and held me down so I could not move as the Rebbi continued to cut. I passed out.

When I awoke, I looked around, saw the jews praying, and noticed that I was now wearing a scottish kilt with a cloth diaper underneath. I had not wore a diaper since I was 14 and re-discovered that I really enjoyed it. And next to me, was a full blown scottish bagpipe.

I rose from the table, wearing a kilt with a diaper underneath, picked up the scottish bagpipe, and belted out a tune while they jews prayed.

I shortly thereafter returned to chicago to work for cluck, but, to this day, I still wear a scottish kilt with a diaper underneath, and play the bagpipes regularly.

Unfortunately, to this day, I am not fully functional down there, if you know what I mean, so I am forced to be the “catcher” in the game of sexytime, with my young male ward Nickie.

I am a sexy GHEY Jew, and you can be too!

I am a sexy GHEY Jew, and you can be too!

I am a convicted felon and a destroyer of other peoples businesses

Tuesday, September 16th, 2008

Before I became fixated wth stealing gems from people, I was a counter boy at a pawn shop. even through i’m a short 52 year old man, with a hair lip. I would try to grab gold and gems from the people who came in to the pawn shop, and pretending to be a jew I managed to grab a good many pieces of fine jewelery.

One of the main rules in the pawn business is booking the transaction. This means putting the transaction into the computer so the cops are notified of the purchase. Well, I would routinely make purchases at the store and not book them. One day, the cops came into the store and arrested me, and shut down the store. They put Good ‘Ol Cluck out of business.

I was convicted of a felony which is on my record to this day.

I also was convicted of felony check fraud, and can not get a bank account opened to save my life.

But, my witch wife who smells like rotten fish opened the accounts for me so I can attempt to steal from you at my Bucktown house of Flogging, Gheyness, boxed wine, and depravity.

Please stop in to visit me today!

I Steal Gems of Grays Lake

Tuesday, September 16th, 2008

I started a Fine JEWelry store in Grayslake called I Steal Gems. Since I was drunk all the time it did not occur to me that naming the Store “I Steal Gems” was a bad idea.

Very few customers came into the store. It might be because my wife who smells like rotten fish and my retardo sun who pisses himself were at the store constantly but the business was clearly failing.

I convinced this Master Jeweler to partner with me, and he paid a large sum of money to join my business. He gave me a large pile of money while I used to pay for boxed wine and Ghey whores. When the money was spent, I walked out of the business leaving him holding the lease. I am that kind of scum.

I hope to do the same thing with a really hot looking stupid art victim that is sharing my new store with me.

I am going to go flog myself now.

Would you buy JEWelry from a pair of Dancing TV/TS’s name Wayne and Markie?

Monday, September 15th, 2008

I am Wayne the proprieter, and Markie is my unemployed cruster.

We dress like women, and sing this song to customers who enter my dark store which smells like a cat box, since I wear depends and piss myself regularly.

Enjoy me and Markie dancing!

Would you buy JEWelry from ME?

A monday morning limmerick

Monday, September 15th, 2008

My name is Wayne and i’m a GHEY old fuck.

I’m short with a hair lip, and I rob people to make a buck.

I invite 19 year old homo’s for dinner at my house and we drink boxed wine.

And I scratch crusty’s back all day, because he has no job and I have the time!

The Family Motto of Bucktown Jewelers

Friday, September 12th, 2008

We have a family motto that I would like to share with you.

I have been operating under it for MANY years.

i CHANT IT over and over while walking around in a scottish kilt flogging crusty and scratching his back.

While nickie feltches me.

Are you ready for it.

Here it is.

The Motto of my business!

The Motto of my business!