Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

In the name of The Father, The Baby in the Sun, and a Holy Goat

Sunday, March 4th, 2012

The Holy Goat

Timmy the deceiver or the delirious, or quite frankly, just a Pear Shaped Pin Head

Sunday, December 18th, 2011

Timmy, also known as Yummy, and Diddler, is estranged from the Church.

To make a long story short, Timmy was questioning the divinity of the Holy Church of Timmy and the Holy Goat.  While we are working through this crisis of faith Yummy has caused great disharmony in our holy church.

Yummy is distraught.  He has a job right now that is about one step over the Fry Guy at MacDonalds.  He was offered the opportunity to better his position in life, but, because Yummy is a Pear Shaped Pin Head and not very smart, The Yumster tried to screw over his recruiter and the job disappeared.  So now, he continues to live with a man called his “roommate” and bemoan the missed golden opportunity that he screwed up.

Because the Church Of Timmy is benevolent, we continue to invite Tummy to rejoin the Church and being the 21st century, we send out these invitations using email.

But, Tummy, being distraught and just pain retarded, denied to one of our disciples that he even received the email.

But, sending another email to Yummy to invite him to our Christmas Party dinner, Yummy had set an auto reply email message that responded that he was out of the office, CONFIRMING that we do indeed have his correct email address.

Come back to the Church Tummy.  All is forgiven.

Its a terrible thing to go through life 1) pear shaped 2) with a pin head and 3) retarded.

All is forgiven.

The Grace and Peace of Timmy be with us all!

A Native American Blessing transmogrified to Timmy our Lord.

Monday, August 1st, 2011

And now, may the Great Timmy, of ALL the Great Timmy’s, be with YOU, Now and FOREVER!  Noon way!

For Timmy…

Monday, August 1st, 2011

Blessed is Timmy now and FOREVER!

And the word of TIMMY and the Holy Goat continues to spread! Glory be to the Holy Goat!

Wednesday, July 27th, 2011

The Holy Goat visits an APPLE Store

Spreading the word of TIMMY one iPad at a time!

Saturday, July 17th, 2010

A coin was commisioned in honor of the Holy Goat

Tuesday, July 6th, 2010

At the Church of Timmy in the tything plate, a devote follower of our religion deposited a coin made to honor the Holy Goat.

Blessed is the Holy Goat now and FOREVER!

 

B lessed is the Holy Goat Now and FOREVER!

A missive from Mark the Cruster on his leaving and my response in CAPS

Wednesday, June 2nd, 2010

This is a copy of an email I received from Markie the KING of the Crusters which suprised me since his nervous disorder makes him all twitchy and crusty. I think that while he was typing it, he crusted himself like a potato chip, probably filled his depends and required large quantities of drugs to actually type it and hit send.

My comments are IN UPPER CASE after each statement send in his email.

I tried your phone several time today (no answer) ?????????????? (LEARN HOW TO USE A PHONE. YOU ARE SO SCREWED since you CAN”T EVEN USE A CELL PHONE)

Here is the story ,when I first started there I spent almost 2 months getting that store into a running store (UM, WE WERE OPEN A YEAR CRUSTO, and THEY STORE RAN FINE)

,not that it wasn’t running, but in my (opinion) not running correctly,Inventory and so on .. ( YOU COULDN’T MANAGER YOUR AWAY OUT OF A CARDBOARD BOX, WHERE YOU WILL LIVE SOON)

I put my HEART & SOUL into that establishment 6 days a week (YOU ARE GUTLESS CRUSTO, and afraid to come out of your house)

,minimum 55 hours a week. (54 BUT WHO IS COUNTinG)

A 15 hour+ day on Valentines day and without complaints on all the above (ONE TIME OMG, TIME TO COMMIT SUICIDE WITH A GOAT)

I told you when I started I wanted a day off from time to time, (NO YOU DIDN’T FREAK)

well that never happened nor was it offered. (WHY SHOULD IT, ALL YOU DO IS SIT AT THE STORE ON DRUGS AND PLAY GUITAR FOR 61K a year)

Maybe something like “hey Markie why dont you take off Thursday or whichever day, again never offered! (WHY? YOU WERE GETTING PAID TOP DOLLAR SINCE YOU HAVE NO MARKETABLE SKILLS)

The only day off I got was when i was sick and that’s a day in bed so that sucks. (YOU WERENT SICK, YOU COULD NOT FIND DRUGS AND WERE TOO SCARED TO DRIVE)

You said when we hire someone you’ll get days off, again still never happened ): (WE DID HIRE SOMEBODY. TWO PEOPLE IN FACT, BUT YOU’RE DELUSIONAL)

No Problem I continued buying and making a repore with all of the customers and making the store money (BOTH YOU AND THE KIDS WERE THIEFS. SELLING PRODUCT THAT COST US $485 for $200 then PAYING $150 TO SHIP IT. THAT WAS MAKING ME MONEY? YOU’RE OUT OF YOUR FREAKING MIND)

which is expected from me a quote from you.(agreed) (MAKE MONEY, NOT GIVE IT AWAY FREAK)

Then all of this shit started> he said she said (YES YOU STARTED DOING UNACCEPTABLE LEVELS OF DRUGS WHICH IMPEEDED YOUR JOB PERFORMANCE)

you said, he said ,it went on & on & on! (YES, WE TOLD YOU THAT YOU WERE A DRUG ADICT THAT NEEDED HELP)

 What is this grade school ,then all i keep hearing is PILLS THIS PILLS THAT, (NO, IT’S A BUSINESS, and YOU TOOK IT UPON YOURSELF TO FUCK IT UP)

I have presciptions for several medications ,and 1 prescription is for Hydrocodone,2 different blood pressure medications & 1 for panic attacks and nervous disorder and a injectable medication for my Psoriasis ,hence (CRUSTY) (YES, AND A LETTER FROM YOUR DOCTOR THAT YOU SHOWD ME STATING THAT SHE WAS DROPPING YOU FOR BEING A CRONIC DRUG CHASER)

(Now everything I said was about Business and the meds I take on a daily basis, then (I’M SURPRISED YOUR NOT DEAD GIVEN WHAT YOU TAKE)

Todd talked to a Sugar Plum Fairy a day or two after I stepped down (STEPPED DOWN? WHAT DOES STEPPED DOWN MEAN TO YOU YOU CRUSTING FREAK. YOU CALL IN SICK FOR 3 DAYS UNTIL YOUR CHECK IS DIRECT DEPOSITED, AND THEN CALL CRYING THAT YOUR QUITTING. STEPPING DOWN? YOUR GUTLESS, PURE AND SIMPLE.)

and told him I am a drug addict popping pills left and right and now anything I say to The Sugar Plum Fairy falls on deaf ears!  (YES, BECAUSE YOU’RE A LYING THIEVING DRUG ABUSER)

 Bennedict had no right to discuss my personal life with The Sugar Plum Fairy (WHY? YOU’RE A SCUMBAG, WHY NOT SHARE THE DETAILS)

,but he did ,which led to him telling my brother and now my sister thinks I’m shit, my whole family now knows and thinks I am a drug addict & loser. (WELL, YOU ARE A DRUG ADICT, WHY KEEP THEM IN THE DARK. YOU KNOW ITS TRUE)

Why did he do that? (BECAUSE YOU’RE A GUTLESS SCUMBAG WHO WALKED OUT ON US)

why is everyone so mean & vendictive, (YOU STARTED IT BY QUITTING WITH NO NOTICE FREAK)

I am at the end of my rope! (GOOD. TAKE A ROPE AND KILL YOURSELF)

I loved that job (LIES)

and NOW I would never go back because (GOOD. WE HIRED A NEW MANAGER)

I couldn’t be in the same room as Wayno, as I am writing I am literally crying, (WOULD YOU LIKE A CRYING RAG)

My whole world has come down to a man with a mouth and a god damn pill story!!!! (THE TRUTH HURTS FREAK)

I believe you when you say you’re sorry,my stepping down has many reasons behind it, (NO, I WAS SORRY I DIDN’T CONFRONT YOU SOONER TELLING YOU THAT YOUR A DRUG ABUSING CRUSTING HALF WIT THAT WAS OVERPAID FOR THE WORK YOU DID, SINCE WE HIRED YOU AS A FAVOR TO A BUSINESS ASSOCIATE AND ALL IT DID WAS BITE ME IN THE ASS FOR BEING GOOD TO YOU BUT THAT TRAIN HAS LEFT THE STATION, YOUR JOB IS GONE, AND NOW YOU ARE FUCKED)

but Groog sealed it with a single phone call , Why did he tell The Sugar Plum Fairy, (BECAUSE, YOU’RE A SCUM)

why, oh my god it keeps going through my head over and over… (GOOD, THINK ABOUT IT FOR A LONG TIME, SINCE YOU WILL NEVER MAKE 61K A YEAR AGAIN)

Life sucks! (KILL YOURSELF)

don’t worry I am not gonna kill my self (TOO BAD, AND I THINK YOU WILL WHEN THE MONEY RUNS OUT)

but I am going to sell my condo and go start over somewhere else where no one knows me most likely out of state. (LIES, YOUR TOO AFAID TO LEAVE YOUR CONDO)

God bless us all (PRAISE THE LORD AND THE HOLY GOAT)

and good luck (GOD YE GOOD MARROW)

all the best Markie (YES, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE THE BEST, AND YOU WILL HAVE 1) no money, 2) SUICIDE 3) HELL FIRE

A missing Cruster, leaving a THIEF in charge and the falling price of gold!

Wednesday, June 2nd, 2010

There are musical chair at the Cruter’s church. Mark the Cruster has been missing. When Mark is not around, Gay Boy Nick the THIEF runs the store. It’s no wonder that Mark has no cash, since Nick steals when there alone.

A customer walked in and related an interesting Cruster story to us that I will share. He walked into the Cruster’s store with $800+ of gold. Mark looks at it, tests it, and says to the guy, I will pay you $10 bucks for the gold. Thats right. TEN DOLLARS. He said, “I can only pay $10 bucks because the price of gold DROPPED this week.”.

Gold prices did NOT drop to less then nothing. They go up and down a bit, but, nothing like the Cruster was saying.

Another Episode of Cruster Math and Bankrupcy

Friday, February 26th, 2010

Every so often we have to look at the Cruster’s ebay listings to see another fine example of Cruster Math.

Mark sold a pendent on ebay.

5.1 g of 14kt gold

and 1.33 ct of diamonds

5.1 grams of gold into the melters pot goes for $98.06 at todays prices.

Mark sold the piece of jewelery for $152.49

That means that Mark being a RETARDED idiot who will be out of business soon, SOLD 1.33 ct of diamonds for about $50 bucks. WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND sells 1.33 ct of diamonds for $50 bucks. I’ll tell you who. A THIEF like the Cruster and GAY BOY NICK who STOLE the merchandise.

Mark is an idiot. If he had half a brain he would have figured out a way to sell the piece of jewelry for the $400 bucks it was worth.

CRUSTER MATH!